How would you react if you saw your four-year-old child shoving other kids and taking toys from them?  You probably wouldn’t beam with pride and adoration at your child’s wonderful display…but there are parents who do.  Really.

It’s Monday, back to work, humph!!  I’ve got to say, I love the weekend!  As much as I enjoy my job, the working week is about two days too long.  We should have a three day week and four day weekends…didn’t they try that in the 70s?  It didn’t go too well (or so I’ve heard, since I wasn’t alive).

Anyway, We had a lovely weekend!  Me and The Hubster took the kids and dogs to the beach.  That’s right, the days are getting longer (Although it’s still dark for about 23 hours of the day!) and it’s getting warmer – well, above zero, so that’s positive…literally.  So, we are off to run on the beach, frolicking in the surf…for about 20 minutes, until we all get cold and damp, then we’ll get chips.  Chips make any situation better!  I dare you to disagree.

While The Hubster and I packed the car for our little trip, I had a call from my friend Faye.  Faye is a Childminder and has been for about 11 years, she’s also one of my main sources for stories about crap parents.  Faye must be the most unlucky Childminder in the country, the parents and children she has to deal with sound truly awful!  The Hubster knows me well enough that as soon as I told him it was Faye he took over the preparations for our journey to the sea-side, knowing full well I would be out of action if a juicy story was on the cards.

Faye had a new starter at her Childminding Practice recently, Sonia, a well-to-do, forty-something, Mum of a four-year-old girl.  Sonia is divorced from her daughters Dad and doesn’t stop going on about the fact that she’s a single Mum doing it alone.  It’s her and her kid against the world.  You know how you get some people who are so anxious about getting fucked over or terrified that people might look down on them that they act like total twats as a defence, Sonia is one of those twats.

As if that wasn’t enough, Sonia’s little princess was an IVF baby.  Now, I’m not saying they don’t exist, but I have never met I pleasant IVF only-child.  The parents are desperate for a kid, sometimes it takes years and thousands and thousands of pounds to have a successful pregnancy.  The result is that the child gets spoilt rotten when it arrives since so much has gone into willing it into existence.  This story has a little twist, Sonia ditched her husband soon after the birth when she found out he had been doing the dirty on her with one of her friends.  So now the kid is the focus of her Mum’s life, the apple of her eye and her raison d’être.

This makes for a nightmare situation for poor ‘ol Faye, she’s a fantastic and experienced Childminder, but no one can beat these odds, they’re stacked against her.  A Mum who will never be satisfied with the care given to her daughter.  She’ll always be critical because she wants perfection, which ain’t going to happen for four quid an hour!  To be honest, the level of service that Sonia would be happy with is pretty much unachievable, I don’t think even Sonia could do it.  Also, the kid is so spoilt and used to being the centre of attention that there is no way she would play nice and fall in line with the rest of the children.

So, the reason Faye phoned me was that Sonia’s little princess had been causing a fracas with the other children.  She won’t share any toys and if another child has something she wants she takes it off them.  Now, this girl is a cute little thing, dressed in frilly outfits, but she does not take any shit and can back up her attitude.

Spawn of Sonia had been playing up all day and had taken more of Faye’s time than all the other children combined.  Just before Sonia arrived to pick up her ‘bundle of joy’, the bundle decided to shove another kid, knocking them over, she then took their toy from them.  Faye dealt with the situation and returned the toy to the other child just as Sonia arrived.  When told about her daughter’s display, Sonia didn’t even blink and stated that her sprog is simply showing the others who is boss and that they shouldn’t mess with her.  Faye, stunned, stated that her behaviour is unacceptable and she could not condone it (Faye – ever the professional!).  Sonia retorted with “She is very strong willed and knows her mind”, she did not say this as an acknowledgement of bad behaviour or with a tone which suggested that what she was really saying was “I’m sorry my child is such a git”.  Sonia said this with pure pride.

Then, Sonia witnessed the full force of her daughters rage.  As Faye and Sonia looked on, Spawn of Sonia pulled a doll out of one child’s hand then launched the poor child into another child who she then grabbed a toy car from. As Faye leapt towards the carnage, to pull any survivors to safety, she glanced at Sonia who had a look of delight on her face and remarked: “Doesn’t take any shit does she”.

Needless to say, this is parenting at it’s worst.  Sonia obviously feels that her daughter has a right to act as she does.  Sonia brought her into the world by pure will and determination and fought against the odds to succeed.  Then, her husband abandoned her and their daughter, so Sonia now feels that they have no support or protection and have to act like motherfuckin’ gangsters to survive.  Yes, I can see why she feels this way, but she is totally fucking wrong!

Sonia and Mini-Sonia are now on their four weeks notice.  Faye decided it ‘wasn’t working’ and that their childcare styles ‘didn’t dove-tail’.

Personally, I think Sonia is an awful parent and an absolute fuck-up!  Her history explains why she feels justified in acting this way, but she’s totally wrecking her daughter’s character!

So, I got off the phone to Faye and we all went to the sea-side.  While the kids played in the back of the car I told The Hubster Faye’s story and he reacted in a similar way to me (which I like because it means I’m not being unreasonable!).  We chewed over the bleak outlook for Sonia and her daughter until the sea came in to view.  Then, as I breathed in the sea air and listened to the excited giggles of the children, I forgot all about Faye and the nightmare situation and simply looked forward to a lovely day with my family!

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